Friday is for . . . Friends

This is a very sad Friday is for . . . installment. My friend and especially Taylor’s friend, Randy Towe was officially fired at the Nixa School Board meeting last night. Here is an article concerning the issue.

The problem we are dealing with is really at the core of what education and “extracurricular” sports are all about.

Barry Hinson, who was fired earlier this week, made a comment in his press conference on Monday morning that problem is that sports has become a big business. The real problem that I see is that . . . we’ve created the monster! This week of conference tournaments, selection shows, the “big dance” and March Madness is awesome! But because it is such a big business, it’s all about winning. Winning at all costs.

Don’t get me wrong, I love winning and to follow teams that are winning. I was at SMS when the Lady Bears went to the NCAA Final Four–awesome! But the problem I see is the “trickle down effect.” I saw an Upward Basketball team in the paper the other day that had “an undefeated season” and were “the leagues champions.” Funny, I have coached Upward for two seasons now and one of the tenets of Upward is that yes, they keep score, but don’t keep league standings because “everyone is a winner” that way. Now, if each team in the league gets their picture in the paper over the coming weeks–that would be awesome and a real esteem builder for those kids. That is definitely a scrapbook worthy endeavor! But unfortunately, I have a feeling that won’t happen. Ironically, that Upward team was in Nixa.

Here’s the problem. We are already creating this “winning is everything” attitude. But what happens when you don’t win? Actually, not if you don’t win–but if you don’t win-enough? It is very simple. You blame the coach for “losing his passion.” What??? What happens if, for example, the district or conference you are in continues to get better and better? And let’s just say that the other teams happen to play better than your team on any given night. What then?

See, the thing that I absolutely love about college basketball in March is the Madness! The fact that anything can happen on any given night. Any team can win. The NFL calls it “parody.” Does it hurt when your team loses? Yes. Frustrating when you give it all and it falls short? You bet. But let’s get some perspective. Why are we endeavoring to play the games anyway? For far too many these days–we play to win. . . no exceptions. When we lose perspective, we forget that they are “STUDENT athletes,” not simply athletes. And when we place so much pressure on winning, they become “ATHLETE students.”

At the end of the day, how many of these students are going to become professional athletes? What about the value of producing citizens that will make a contribution to society? What kind of PEOPLE are we making on these sports teams?

I have waxed philosophical for far too long here, but it is a problem at the core of WHO we ARE and WHO we are BECOMING.

Basically, my friend Randy Towe just lost his coaching contract because of what we’ve become. . . what honestly, I’ve become. In the heat of the game when I am screaming at the officials, the players, and the coaches–I forget that they are real people who have real lives and real families that hurt and bleed just like all of us. We lose perspective in the heat of the competition. And the real problem–my children are sitting right next to me or on my lap. They are not watching the game as much as they are watching me. I have been teaching them that winning is everything. How sad! As the scriptures say, “be careful little eyes what you see.”

Randy, you showed my boys what you are all about–what is really important. . . people. You showed my boys that those girls are important. That your job is not just to win, but it is to BUILD YOUNG WOMEN. There is no need to scream and holler and use obscenities. Your record is impeccable. Over 400 wins (well on the way to the top in the state.) A state title just 8 short years ago (how quickly we forget!) But more than that, you showed Taylor the fist pound for “goo-punch” (your little nickname for him) EVERY time you saw him whether after a win, or a loss. I wish my boys will have the opportunity to play for a coach like you someday. You are tops in my book! We love you coach Randy!!

Friday is for Friends . . . go hug a teacher or coach today!


3 Responses to “Friday is for . . . Friends”

  • John Says:

    Another aspect of the extreme competitiveness of Jr. High and High School sports is that many other kids are convinced that they aren’t any good at sports and so they give up–even on recreational sports. We have an entire generation of kids that are inactive. National estimates say that the upcoming generation will be the first in history to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents.

    Sometimes it is okay to teach the game so that our kids can have fun and be healthy.

    A fine rant, David.

  • Fran Says:

    Good job David. I hope if nothing else comes out of this some really good people take a look at themselves and what is truly important. I, too, would have been proud to have Randy coach either of my children – because I think he would have taught them so much more than basketball.

  • Bill Stone Says:

    David: You said it much better than I ever could. One of the problems is the fact that we as parents have consciously or unconsciously attempted to live our dreams through our children. Thus we have parents enrolling kids in all sorts of specialized programs for sports or other things and push the kids to achieve more and more so that they will be the next Tiger Woods or Bret Farve. This push has now extended to school sports–and apparently to the employment and retention of coaches based on winning. What’s next? Retention or firing of middle school coaches on the basis of the team record. I hope not. Keep up your good work, maybe you can help make us better parents and citizens one step at a time.

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